Our Lives... In a Crystal Clear Light

Happy… blessed… lucky… loved. I’m not sure what it was about this weekend that made me feel all of these things larger than I have ever felt them in my life, but after having Lasik surgery on Thursday, I think my eyes not only opened to the physical visions that I was blind to for some time, but I also think they were opened to other things in life that I sometimes overlook – the aspects of life that make me as thankful and happy as I am each day. If it’s even possible, after this weekend, I grew even more appreciative and grateful for Tres and all the greatness in our lives together – not for any certain reason, just because I realized all over again how lucky we are!
See, I’m not one to take things in life for granted, and I say this meaning it to the extreme. I can sometimes be a deep thinker with life usually playing as the main subject running thorough my brain. For example, as scary and strange as it may sound, death runs through my brain way more than it should any normal person. There is never, and I mean NEVER, a day that goes by that I don’t think about dying. Horrible, morbid, loony, scaredy-cat… call it whatever you want, but I can’t help it. Every single day I think about dying. I think about what I would do if my life ended at such a young age. I think about what I would do if something happened to one my family members. I think about and get sick to my stomach over the thought of anything happening to Tres. I think about these things, and I scare myself out of my wits. Pointless… yes, I know because the good Lord will take us when he feels ready, and I’m not scared of that part of it. But I am scared of it happening so young. It happens to people every single day – they lose the person they love most for an unexplained reason. Who’s to say that can’t happen to me? THAT’S why I think about it every day. My mom tells me I am crazy and shouldn’t think so much, but that I cannot help.

Throwing the dark thoughts in the corner, thinking about the value of life a lot does indeed have its ups. There is seldom an hour that goes by that I don’t take a deep breath and thank God that I am breathing that air in. Every single day I see my parents, grandparents, brother, and other family, I treasure the moment and freeze it into my brain. And every day before I leave for work, I memorize Tres’ face, I hold him and breathe him in just as hard as I would if it were the last time, hoping that it never will be, and I make sure we never ever leave each other’s side angry or irritated. Because as crazy as I may sound… you just never know. You really just never know.

This weekend, there was no death on the brain – just reflection… reflection of my current life and all the greatness in it. Maybe it’s because after the unnecessary stress and distraught over my Lasik eye surgery, I woke up and could see better than ever – perfectly actually. Maybe it’s because all of the wedding planning is almost complete – we are literally down to sending invites and then we’re done! Maybe it’s because Tres and I have so much fun together – and not only that but we are blessed enough to do whatever we want, whenever we want with rarely any questions asked. Or maybe it’s because I have a man who loves me to the thousandth degree – and not only does he say the words, but it shows in his eyes. At one point this weekend, I caught him looking at me, and it made me melt all over again. No moment with him is ever one taken for granted, and all these great things in my life – they are not taken for granted either.

Aside from me having perfect vision, this weekend was a pretty typical one for us – nothing really out of the ordinary. Friday night, we did the usual – cracked open a bottle of wine at home, and followed that by eating at one of our favorite restaurants that we visit often. After that, we met our friend, Joey, for a rooftop party, went home, and went to sleep.

Saturday started out routinely… by us opening the glass doors that lead out to our beautiful balcony overlooking one of the oldest streets in Memphis. We often start our Saturdays this way because not only is it relaxing but it gives us a chance to soak up the sun and discuss our plans for the day; this time, it was a little different because I had no glasses on and could see further than ever. My new vision lead to us holding a contest on who could see further, and I beat out Tres who has had 20/20 vision his whole life! With our day planned out, we started it by walking down to the local Farmer’s Market downtown where we planned our dinner for the entire week, buying fruits, veggies, and snacks galore. After taking it home, we went to a sandwich shop in midtown and had lunch on the patio. I remember at this point, thinking ‘I am so lucky to be sitting here laughing with this man.’ Lunch turned into a local museum, The Pink Palace. As a local Memphian, I have been to this museum on field trips and with my family as a child more than can be counted, but only having experienced it once with Tres, I knew the second time would be even better. To go to a museum with Tres, you have to be very patient. He stops to read every little letter or mark written and will not go to the next one until he completely soaks up the information in the previous one. It’s one of those things I could let drive me crazy; instead, on this day, I watched him from across the Civil War mock-up, smiling and laughing. I love when he does this… I poke fun at him about it, but in reality I admire his thirst for knowledge.

That night, we got cleaned up for our THIRD ANNIVERSARY DINNER! We celebrated it a week late because of our out of town parties last weekend, but we figured better late than never. Plus, any excuse for a nice dinner is a good enough excuse for us. We got dolled up, turned on some fun music, cracked open the wine, and let the night begin. Our dinner was at a place called Restaurant Iris and was truly one of the best I’d ever had, with our waiter and the experience of the place being top-notch. I’m not sure why we never visited this place before, but we will definitely be back… again and again! Another bottle of wine down at dinner, and we went home to crank up the 80’s hit list. Not sure what possessed us, but 80’s was on the ipod for the rest of the night, and we sang and danced around the house like no other… just the two of us having fun like 10 other people were in the room with us.

Sunday morning I woke up and thought about everything in our lives. Before I ever even saw myself as the “marrying type,” I knew I had a “type” of man; one that would compliment me best – Tres is that man more perfectly than God could have ever made a man for me. As a young person, you have no idea what your life will bring, you just live it the best you can and hope everything works out. I’m not sure what the two of us ever did to deserve it, but our lives are so perfect and happy, and I think 95% of it is because we found each other. I thought about all these things, and as soon as Tres woke up, the first words I said to him were, “We are so lucky, Tres. We are blessed enough to do everything we want to do, anytime we want to do it, and we have each other to experience it with.” He said, “I know… I think about it all the time. And never take it for granted because it may not always be this perfect.” “I know…” I said. And we don’t… each day, I see gratefulness in Tres’ face for the things we have, the people we have in our lives, the things we get to experience, and the strong relationship we have together as a future married couple. I see these things in his face, and I hope he sees them in mine because I feel it every single day.

Sunday night, after spending an entire day together, yet again, I said, “Tres, do you realize we have been together non-stop for like 72 hours… three straight days, and I am not in the least sick of you yet? As a matter of fact, I wish we didn’t have to go to work tomorrow, so I could spend another complete 24 hours with you right beside me. Do you feel like that about me?” He laughed, because I often ask him questions like this, and said, “Yes I do.” My reply, “Will it feel like this 50 years from now?” He said, “I sure hope so.” Hope, laughs, love… that’s what we’re living on, and we aren’t taking a mere second of it for granted!